Don't worry, be happy

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment.

You're in a foreign country, you don't speak the language, you don't know many people, you don't have a job, and the money is running out quicker than you'd like. Whats the first thing you'd buy?
Some new clothes, or a haircut to impress the boss at a job interview? Nup.
A Japanese-English dictionary? Uh-uh.
Drinks for everyone in the bar, in the vain hope of "networking"? No.

You'd buy one of these, of course

You can call me Al(f)

Ladies and gentlemen...the best thing I have ever bought. The Alf Stress-Relief Figurine.

Under pressure? Not anymore!

Anyway...

You know how in Melbourne, if you saw something slightly valuable in the street, you'd pick it up and look for the nearest cop-shop, but you'd inevitably get beaten over the head by a desperate junkie who'd sell the slightly valuable object in Cash Converters and then make a beeline for Hungry Jacks on Russell Street?

That doesnt happen here.



You can tell Japan doesnt have a major drug problem when someone loses a mobile phone, and instead of pocketing it, the finder of the phone has left it in an obvious place for the owner to see when they retrace their steps. That phone wouldnt have lasted twenty minutes in Melbourne.
(Mind you, it probably doesnt work anymore, being exposed to the elements for several days. Still, its the thought.)

And finally...seeing as I've touched on drugs...

You know why the Japanese Olympic team is good at table tennis and little else? Check the incentives on the team recruitment posters:

Drugs in sport - Just say no