Take me to the river

Last weekend we went on a river cruise to Tokyo Sea Life Park. Originally, we hoped we were going on this boat...

Love, exciting and new...

...then we hoped we were going on this boat...

Welcome to the future...today!

but instead we went on this boat. Boo!



The boat ride itself was nice - 75 minutes of river cruising. We went under this bridge...

...and past this building...



...avoiding swarms of deadly, brain-eating jellyfish...

Brain-eating jellyfish.

...until we finally arrived at Tokyo Sea Life Park!

Boasting a shark tank, penguin pool, dep-sea theatre, and bird watching centre, the Tokyo Sea Life Park is the perfect way to spend a hot summer day. Unfortunately, all these exhibits were closed when we got there, so we had to entertain ourselves with the beach and the ferris wheel.

The beach was crap. Dirt and stones are not beach. Most beaches don't have a cement foreshore. And there was a big sign saying "DO NOT SWIM". And it smelt funny.

All disappointment from the beach was forgotten when we got to the ferris wheel:

Big wheel keep on turnin'

This baby is 111 meters in diameter. Plus, the extra 6 meters climbed up to get on the thing, made us 117 meters above sea level! YEAH! To put that in perspective, just think of one meter, and multiply that 117 times.* Or, you could compare it to Sydney's Luna Park ferris wheel and the London Eye - 14 meters and 135 meters respectively.

Oh, and I ate a hot dog on a stick. That bit was fun.

Next week we are going on the good boat instead. We will get food on that boat.

*Yes, I miss Strangers with Candy.

The kids are alright

Worst. Band. Names. Ever.

Kinki Kids

Mr. Children. (No, Richard Gere is not Mr. Children)

Taking care of business

Ok. I've now been in this city for 4 weeks. Time to take stock of what I've done and where I'm at.

I HAVE NOT eaten any rice. Noodles, yes. Raw fish, yes. Big Macs, yes. But no rice. It helps when your kitchen contains of a one-burner cooktop, and nothing else.
I HAVE forgotten to take my shoes off before entering a house. I'm all for cultural awareness, but...y'know. Clearly, whoever invented this custom didnt own a pair of 10-up Doc Martens.
I HAVE NOT sung karaoke. If you havent heard me sing, trust me, this is a Good Thing.
I HAVE improved my chopstick skills. I have graduated from "Retarded" to "Special"
I HAVE NOT bought "used" garments from a vending machine. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm looking at you, Dave BP.
I HAVE learnt how to bow to people. And I'm using this knowledge as often as possible. I even bowed to a drink machine the other day. (I was in the process of removing the drink from the dispenser though)
I HAVE NOT understood why Japanese ladies like to look bronze. Not tanned, but seriously bronze. Like, 3rd-place-getting bronze. Bronze-age bronze. With frosted lipstick.
I HAVE started learning the language. I can say "neko" (cat), "merron" (melon) and...well, thats it, really. Unfortunately, not many people talk about melon-cats.
I HAVE NOT had a ride on the bullet train. Negiotiating my own neighbourhood is difficult enough. Stupid un-named streets.
I HAVE started to get a tan. Just tanned. Not bronzed.

Thats the first month down. 11 to go.

Do you like pina coladas...and getting caught in the rain?

This country attracts a particular type of weirdo. Here's some highlights from the personal columns in the free papers. I'm not making any of these up.

Generous Gift: Professional black African, mid-40's living in central Tokyo, will give a generous gift each time to any lady who will hang out with him. Age 18-30, any nationality, race, marital status or occupation. enjoy-tokyo@*******.com

American male, 25, beer, movies, hiking, sports, beer, karaoke, concerts, beer, shopping, dining out, beer. If this sounds fun and you are a cute Japanese girl, let me know. tokyoandbeer@*****.com

(note: I didnt write this. I would have left out Karaoke)

Affectionate and sincere? No chance. Man, not particularly caring, friendly or affectionate, seeks female or similar for copulation, lots of it and not much else. sxtyphoon@*****.com

Blonde companions wanted. Generous expat from California seeks blonde companions for a small home party. No expenses involved, just come and enjoy. imahima69@*****.com

Kakkoii rock singer, 29, wants to make you sing. Let me show you why I have so many groupies. aijin_yasashii@*******.com

(why is he advertising on here if he gets so many groupies already? you didnt think that one out too well, aijin_yasashii)

Pretty legs and small feet? Fun, wealthy British guy, 35, seeks Japanese ladies who know they have sexy legs. Leg and foot play, just for fun. Meet for coffee first? finefootfun@*******.com

Young, handsome, British. Prove me wrong. I don't think any young ladies exist, who are all three of the following: kind, beautiful, and a good conversationalist. Come on? rfeerdner@*****.com

(tip to rfeerdner...insulting the ladies is unlikely to make them want to meet you)

Come to Thailand. White American male seeks beautiful party girl or girls to come spend time on the beach with me in July and August. Have house. I am handsome, young looking, and fun. Any nationality ok. No jealous types. Email: thailand2005beachgetaway

(another tip: you'll get more responses if you include the full email address. Maybe he should hook up with imahima69)

Are you ill? The love doctor is back! When was the last time you had a check-up? doc5111@******.com

Are you a princess? Can you fit into a 6-inch, clear platform shoe, American shoe size 6 or Japanese sizes 23-24cm? I'm looking for a princess, tell me what you are looking for. andre0@******.com

Hi! I want a lady who is rich. I no good place for outing. So I want a lady 38-45, good looking to be with, later maybe more. kiss_1222@*******.com

hey, im a young, brash, handsome rogue photographer who wants to make some beautiful art with beautiful girls and ladies. I am not a nerdy gaijin, but I do like to drink. In fact, I get drunk almost every night. I am developing a new way to think about the universe through my photography. Are you cute? sexy? send me an email and lets get creative. I love girls of all shapes and colours. I can pay for experienced models, not much...but I'll take you out to Dennys for pancakes and beer. Please, im not a creep, believe me, im just desperate to set off a worldwide cultural revolution. metroattack@*****.ca

And the final two...from the same email address...

iam living in central of kathmandu nepal. mynameis ramesh kc. iwant to marriage fro japanese lady. iam now 35 yeaes old single noonsmookeer noon drinker buthonest hndsome. i write really this massage. if any good gril like me. kindly email me shinnyo_prem@*******.com

myname is prem pd kharel. i live in central city in kathmandu nepal. iam now 38years old but handsom. iam not drinker not smookeer but unest. i want to marriage tell from my hort. only japanise ladies. who want like me please write email me. shinnyo_prem@*******.com

So come on, ladies, get writing! shinnyo_prem's many identities are waiting! And will be for some time, I'd suspect.
We were thinking of putting in a freaky ad ourselves, just to see what sort of response we'd get. But as the quality of creep is so much higher here than back home, maybe its not such a good idea.

PS... Gel wanted me to put this one in as well:
I am looking for a cheap or free Oopa Loopa. It looks like a salamanda and lives in a fish tank. Like a half-frog, half-fish. aussie_cmsw@*****.com.au

Surely if you had an Oopa Loopa, you'd know what it looked like. Just a thought.

Wherever I lay my hat

Another quiet week. Its been pouring down the past few days, so not much touristy stuff. This weeks adventures have mostly involved finding a house.

And it looks like we got one.

Last week we thought we had the house situation sorted. We had discovered this place with a spa bath and huge rooftop balcony. The area was a bit isolated, but hey, it had a spa! It smelt a little musty, but no-one had lived there for a while. And it had a rooftop balcony, man!
Anyway, we went back to have one final look at the place. Still looked ok inside, still smelt a bit weird...not so much musty as...cabbage-y.
As we were about to leave we heard something - it sounded like someone was taking a leak in the sink. Huh?
We slowly figured out that most of the plumbing in the block was connected, and whenever our neighbours would use their kitchen sink, the noise would echo up through the pipes and broadcast in our flat. And that cabbage smell wasnt due to the house being closed up for a month...that was coming from the sink too. And there was a dead bird on our delightful balcony.
So goodbye, spa bath. Farewell, rooftop balcony. May your new owners have no sense of smell or hearing.

But now, we should be right. We have now found a place in Ningyocho (meaning City of the Dolls), which is about 15 mins walk from where we are now. Its already furnished, and the building has a huge marble-tiled entrance way, which gives it a hotel-style feel. No oven though, so I won't be cooking anymore potato-smileys for a while.

We still havent signed anything yet though. I hope I havent jinxed it.
*fingers crossed*

On a completely different note, whats with Tom Cruise? Has he always been this creepy?

Blame it on the rain

Not much going on today. Stupid rainy season.
A few random things:

1. Where would you rather go:

or

And guess which venue had this function:

2. There are a lot of places to buy animal suits in Tokyo. If anyone needs to dress up as a giant pink squirrel anytime soon, let me know.

3. It really is a small world. I bumped into an old uni friend yesterday. I wasnt expecting that, in a country of 123 million.

4. Everyone should get the Vitalic album "OK Cowboy". It rocks.

Sorry for the lousy post. More interesting stuff after the weekend, I promise.

Livin' on a Prayer

Sunday: Harajuku

Harajuku is famous for its beautiful Shinto shrine. Here's a quick outline of Shinto, as stolen from somewhere else on the web:

"Shinto ("the way of the gods") is the indigenous faith of the Japanese people and as old as Japan herself. It remains Japan's major religion besides Buddhism.

Shinto does not have a founder nor does it have sacred scriptures like the sutras or the bible. Propaganda and preaching are not common either, because Shinto is deeply rooted in the Japanese people and traditions.

"Shinto gods" are called kami. They are sacred spirits which take the form of things and concepts important to life, such as wind, rain, mountains, trees, rivers and fertility. Humans become kami after they die and are revered by their families as ancestral kami. The kami of extraordinary people are even enshrined at some shrines. The Sun Goddess Amaterasu is considered Shinto's most important kami.

In contrast to many monotheist religions, there are no absolutes in Shinto. There is no absolute right and wrong, and nobody is perfect. Shinto is an optimistic faith, as humans are thought to be fundamentally good, and evil is believed to be caused by evil spirits. Consequently, the purpose of most Shinto rituals is to keep away evil spirits by purification, prayers and offerings to the kami.

Shinto shrines are the places of worship and the homes of kami. Most shrines celebrate festivals (matsuri) regularly in order to show the kami the outside world.

People seek support from Shinto by praying at a home altar or by visiting shrines. A whole range of talismans is available at shrines for traffic safety, good health, business success, safe deliveries, good exam performance and more."

The shrine at Harajuku

The prayers are written on small wooden boards, and hung up like this:

Some peoples prayers were simple and effective:

Some prayers needed a bit of work...

...and some people didnt understand the assignment:

And then there was this:

Morrissey: comeback secrets revealed

Every Sunday at the entrance to the shrine, some of the more eccentric Young People dress up in costume, and hang out all day. Most of them are happy to pose for anyone with a camera, so I think it best if I post the pictures and leave you to wonder.

Spring Racing Carnival: glamorous

Pony in the morning: unappealing

It's Everywhere

Remember that episode of The Simpsons when Krusty realises that he has licensed his face to appear on just about every product imaginable? Here's two instances of the same thing I've seen over the past few days:

1. Gimme Shelter:

Ninety percent of this stores stock is related to the Rolling Stones. Whatever the Stones recorded / played at / looked at / liked / didnt like / ignored / talked about / shared the same country as / flew over in an aeroplane / had the same initials as, chances are you will find it here.

Need a Rolling Stones inflatable blimp? No problem!
Tell your friends you saw the Stones in India, 2003 and they don't believe you? Come on in, buy the tour t-shirt!
Expecting rock stars over for dinner? How about some Stones tableware?!
Looking for the Bill Wyman Live in Germany 2000 bootleg? You sad, sad person. But here you go!

2. Hello Kitty:

Hello Kitty merchandising is truly nuts:

- Hello Kitty steering wheel covers
- Hello Kitty dust-busters
- Hello Kitty water dumb-bells
- Something called Hello Kitty Collon (I'm not going to taste a product called "collon". I can guess.)
- Hello Kitty inflatable swim ring
- Hello Kitty toaster
- Hello Kitty oscillating fan (below)



- Hello Kitty grand piano
- Hello Kitty badminton kit
- Hello Kitty television / DVD unit
- Hello Kitty processed sausage (once again, not sampled for fear sausage may actually contain traces of Hello Kitty)

...and for the romantics...



Flowers shaped like Hello Kitty! Awww...

Not bad going for a cat with no mouth. The full Kitty cutesy-horror can be found at http://store.yahoo.com/sanriostore/hello-kitty.html

EARTHQUAKE!!

I've just been in my first ever earthquake!

Well...earth tremor.

I was sitting on the bed watching telly when the building sort of shuddered...sort of like being in a really strong gust of wind. Then it went a little wobbly for around 20 seconds or so.
No damage, no interruption to power or gas, nothing fell off the shelves. But I can now say I survived an earthquake.

Maybe I'll get a t-shirt made up:

"I just survived
In Tokyo '05"

Or not.

Tower Records

*freaks out*